The thought of spending time alone may sound like heaven to some, while it can invoke a sense of fear and anxiety in others.
If you are the latter, you may worry that you will be bored or lonely, however spending time alone can be one of the best ways to get to know who you really are and is a great way to hit the pause button on the rest of your life and truly unwind.
The trick to learning how to enjoy spending time alone is to change the way you think about it. The brain is quite an obedient piece of machinery, so when you tell yourself something often enough (whether it's true or not!), your brain will search for any confirmation it can find to make that statement true.
If you tell yourself that spending time alone is boring, you're going to feel bored. If you tell yourself that you hate spending time alone, then being alone is going to feel like torture. Alternatively, if you tell yourself that spending time alone is a treat, then spending time alone is going to feel like a luxurious and pleasurable break from the world and your everyday life.
If you want to change the way you feel about spending time alone, the best thing you can do for yourself is to make it fun and enjoyable in any way you can.
My nan once told my mum after my granddad passed away that dinnertime had become the most depressing part of her day as sitting at the dinner table alone in silence created a horrible atmosphere that she couldn't stand.
My mum's advice to her was that she needed to find ways to make the experience more enjoyable. If you live alone, there's no need to sit at the dining table in silence. Make it an experience. Play some music and light some candles, or make yourself cozy in front of the TV while you watch a movie or your favourite TV show. Make it something to look forward to.
Whether you prefer to spend your alone time at home on your own, alone in your room, or even away from your home, the best thing you can do is be prepared for it.
Maybe you live alone, or maybe you don't have as many friends to hang out with as you'd like.
You can either schedule some time alone for yourself or come up with a backup plan in case you have plans to hang out with others that end up falling through.
Do yourself a favour and whip out the notes app on your phone or grab a pen and paper and make a list of anything and everything that you could possibly, or would like to do/ try when you find yourself spending time alone. This way, if it happens unexpectedly, you won't feel so disappointed and/ or lost because you will be prepared for it.
If you're stuck for ideas, here are a few things that you can try.
Romanticize Spending Time Alone
If you want to make spending time alone seem like more of the luxury that it is, do yourself a favour and romanticize it in any way you can.
If you're spending a night in, get yourself a cute and/ or comfy set of PJs or if it's day time, change into an outfit that's comfortable but also makes you feel good about yourself.
If you're making yourself a hot drink, use a pretty mug or pour your juice into a champagne flute. If you're a guy, maybe pour yourself a drink using a scotch glass with ice to make you feel like you're the main character in a movie.
If you can turn spending time alone into an experience as opposed to just something that you do, you're all the more likely to be able to actually enjoy it.
Anything you can do to up the vibe and/ or the aesthetic appeal of the situation is bound to change the way you feel about it and make it that much more enjoyable - which brings me to my next point.
Make Your Space Comfortable And Inviting
You can make the time you spend alone more enjoyable by paying a little extra attention to your surroundings.
The best thing that you can do for yourself is make your space comfy. Clean away any clutter, open the windows, light some candles and put on some music that makes you feel happy.
You could even add plants or fresh flowers, fairy lights or LED lights, light some incense or a diffuser and open the windows to let in some fresh air.
If the weather is cold out, surround yourself with cozy warm blankets and make yourself a cup of tea or hot chocolate. Light a fire if you're lucky enough to have a fireplace, or you can set a "crackling fire" screensaver on your computer to add to the ambiance.
If the weather is warm, you can either turn on a ceiling or pedestal fan, turn on the air con if you have access to one, or buy yourself one of those battery operated spray bottle fans, or plug in USB fans.
You can even decorate your space to suit the seasons - as mentioned, cozy blankets and fake (or real) fires in winter, or maybe you can use brightly-coloured sarongs in summer as throws or makeshift curtains.
Clean Your Space
It may not seem like the most fun thing to do (depending on how you think about it), but if you find yourself spending time alone, you could always take the opportunity to clean your space.
Whether you have an apartment, a house, or just a bedroom, keeping your space clean and tidy will make it much more enjoyable to spend time there.
They say that our external world is a reflection of our inner world, so if your room or your house is a mess, then chances are that your mind is a mess too.
Sometimes you don't realise how chaotic the mess around you is making you feel until you clean it up, so do yourself a favour - pick up your dirty clothes from the floor, put your things away, wipe the dust from your surfaces, and vacuum and mop your floors. You'll feel so much better and more relaxed once you do.
Re-Decorate Your Space
As we grow and evolve throughout our lives, sometimes our tastes can change. Have a look around your space and ask yourself a few questions to determine whether your surroundings could do with a revamp.
Does your space reflect the person that you are at this current moment in time? Is your space filled with things that you love? Do you find the objects around you aesthetically pleasing? Is your furniture organised in a way that makes sense to you?
If the answer to any of these questions is "no", then you may want to think about making a change. If you live alone, then you're free to do whatever you like but if you live with someone else, you may want to discuss it with them before making any changes.
You don't necessarily need to do a full-blown renovation (unless you want to) - revamping your space could be as simple as rearranging your furniture. You could even Google Feng Shui for some ideas on the best way to arrange your furniture for more harmony and balance.
If your furniture is looking a little outdated, or you don't like the colour, you can always customise it by giving it a fresh coat of paint or varnish, painting it a different colour completely or adding fun touches like crystal knobs or coloured handles.
Depending on your budget, you could paint the walls or buy new furniture or even just buy new curtains, rugs or some new bedding. If you can't buy new, you can always buy secondhand, or simply swap curtains and bedding with something that you already have in the linen cupboard.
Another thing that you can do is take a look at your décor. Are the items littered throughout your space objects that bring you joy? If the answer is "no", it's gotta go!
If it is something that doesn't necessarily bring you joy to look at but you feel like you can't get rid of it, is there somewhere else (maybe somewhere less visible) you can put it?
Or, if you do want to remove it from your life but you feel guilty simply throwing it out, you could always donate it or gift it to someone.
Once you've decided which items are going to stay and which are going to go, if your space is feeling a little too bare, you can always buy yourself some new décor.
This doesn't need to be an expensive venture - you can check out secondhand and discount stores for some cheap but beautiful items such as candles, vases, sculptures, fake (or real) plants or flowers, cushions, picture frames, table cloths - whatever you like.
If you're stuck on ideas on any of the above points, you can always look at Pinterest for inspiration.
PS. If you are renting, be sure to check with the owners before painting any walls or hanging pictures. If you had your heart set on doing either of these things but your landlord says no, you can always create a photo wall or put up some posters using Blu-tac or some removable hooks.
Make Yourself A Fun Drink
Keeping with the theme of romanticizing your alone time, why not treat yourself a little and make a fun drink to elevate the experience? This could be a cocktail, a mocktail or even a fancy coffee or hot chocolate.
Journal
Journalling is a great way to get to know yourself better and can help you learn more about yourself.
Get yourself a journal and pen that you find aesthetically pleasing, put on some comfy clothes, maybe light some candles or put on some soft music if that's what you're into, and find a cozy spot where you won't be disturbed.
You can use your journal to help you learn things such as your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, write down your goals, discover your purpose and learn how to tune into your intuition.
You could use it to recap your days and document your experiences, vent your frustrations, work out solutions to problems, or even pick up one of the many books out there filled with journal prompts for questions that you can answer and get to know who you really are without the outside influence, distractions and input from others.
Plan Your Future
After spending some time journalling, you should be really clear on your goals for the future. Being on your own is a great opportunity to put your ideas down on paper and figure out what action steps you'll need to take to get there.
Write down how you want your future to look. What does the best version of yourself look like? What do you do each day? What do your routines look like? What time do you go to bed and wake up each day? How do you make your money? What do you eat and drink? Who are you with?
Write down what you want your life to look like and start figuring out ways to make that happen. Once you're clear on what you want, spend some time planning your routines for the future.
If the dream life version of you exercises regularly, write down an exercise plan. Include how often you will exercise, what days you will work out and what days you will rest, what exercise you will do and how long you will spend exercising on your chosen days.
If the dream life version of you eats a healthy wholefoods diet, write down what foods you want to incorporate into your diet, Google some recipes and make a meal plan and a shopping list of groceries you will need to buy.
If the dream life version of you has a hefty savings account, write yourself a budget. Figure out what you earn, roughly how much your bills are and how much you can realistically save on a regular basis.
If you aren't currently employed or don't have a job that you feel pays enough, figure out what you want to do and write a plan for how you can get a job that pays you more.
Once you have your plans in place, start implementing your changes TODAY (or tomorrow if you're reading this during the evening) - start the first day of your exercise routine, go grocery shopping for your healthy ingredients, get serious about your budget.
The things you do today will take you one step closer to the life you dream of living in the future. If you keep putting things off until tomorrow or Monday or "that perfect date in the future," then your dreams are going to stay just that - dreams!
Make A Vision Board
Another fun thing to do while spending time alone (especially if you have spent some time journalling or writing out your plans for the future) is to create a vision board.
A vision board is a collection of pictures and quotes that represent your vision of what you want your future to look like. It can help to make you feel inspired to continue (or start) working toward your goals and can help to keep you on track.
You can decorate your vision board any way you like - use clippings from magazines, print off pictures from Pinterest (or create a digital vision board), use stickers, print off inspirational quotes, write words with glitter gel pens, use photos that inspire you - what you put on your vision board is 100% up to you. Make it yours.
Once you are done, keep your vision board somewhere that you can see it so that you have a constant reminder of the things that you want to achieve. It may just be the extra push you need to keep going which will be your key to your success.
Meditate And Practice Mindfulness
In this crazy world with it's go-go-go mentality, it's easy to feel like you should always be doing something, but this is not the case.
The human brain was not designed to be constantly "on". We need our downtime to restore our energy and process the onslaught of information we are hit with at every moment of every day. Sometimes we need to consciously force ourselves to stop, slow down and take a few deep breaths.
We're always so busy worrying about the past or the future that we end up missing what's happening in our lives right now and enjoying the little things that make life great.
Take a moment to yourself to focus on nothing but this very moment right in front of you. You can choose to focus on your breath and nothing else, or you can tune into your 5 senses.
What can you see around you? What can you hear, feel, taste, smell? Look at the space around you and name all the things you feel grateful for. Don't just see things, really look at them. Spend some time focussing on all that is good in your life right now, in this very moment. Don't miss it dwelling on a past that can't be changed or an imaginary future that hasn't happened yet!
Pamper Yourself
Spending time on your own is a great opportunity for some pampering time. Although looks are not the most important thing, taking care of your physical appearance can make your inner self shine. Use your alone time to make yourself feel good inside and out.
First, set the tone - light some candles, play some music and pour yourself a glass of wine, some lemon water or make a cup of herbal tea.
Pampering will look different to everyone, but you might choose to use this time to have a nice, relaxing bubble bath, put on a face mask, a hair treatment, shave your legs, exfoliate, moisturise and give yourself a DIY manicure and pedicure or apply some fake tan if you feel that you are looking a little pale.
For any male readers, there's no reason you can't get in on the action too! Pour yourself a drink, put on your favourite tunes, take a long bath using your fave body wash, shave or trim up your facial hair, trim your nails and treat your skin to an exfoliating scrub. Instead of having it feel like a chore, make it an enjoyable experience.
Read A Book
Reading a book is a great solo activity and the best thing is that you can do this anywhere. Choose a book that interests you, whether that be factual or fictional, digital or hard copy. Then, choose your location.
You can read your book from a comfy armchair, sitting in bed, under a shady tree in the park, lying on the beach or chilling in a café, on a balcony or in a backyard.
Movie or TV Night
Make yourself some yummy snacks, get cozy and treat yourself to a movie or a new TV series. If it's chilly, you can snuggle up with a blanket and make yourself a hot drink.
Exercise
Exercise is a great way to improve not only your fitness, but also your mood. Exercise releases endorphins which help to make you feel happy.
Your personal preference and circumstances will determine what exercise looks like to you. You could go to the gym, use any workout equipment that you have at home, or go for a walk.
You can even do workouts that require nothing but a yoga mat and/ or your own body weight. There are plenty of videos online that you can watch and workouts that you can follow, whether that be yoga, floor Pilates or a HIIT workout, all from the comfort of your own home.
You can even sign up for a virtual online class if that's something that you're interested in.
Work On Your Hobbies
If you don’t already have a hobby, now is a great time to try something new - you don't need to be great at it, and you don't need to spend a lot of money. The main thing is that you enjoy the process and keep an open mind.
There are lots of cheap activities you can try that only require minimal supplies. Why not go to a discount store and see what you can find?
You can try drawing, painting, knitting, scrapbooking, writing stories, or buy some glitter, gems, paint and stickers and decorate something that you already own.
Practice a new dance routine. Learn to play a new instrument. Open up a cookbook and cook a meal that you think looks delicious. Practice different hairstyles and make-up techniques, learn to make different cocktails or mocktails and, despite what anyone says, I am of the firm belief that you are never too old to colour!
The list of possibilities is endless. Try anything and everything and you may just discover a new passion, skill or talent that you never knew you had.
Remember that you may not be great at something straight away but keep in mind that the more you practice, the better you will get. One of my favourite sayings is - The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried, so go easy on yourself!
Catch Up On Your Sleep
If your life has been quite busy lately or you've been feeling tired, overworked or stretched a little thin or even if you just want to wake up early in the morning or take extra care of your body, why not use your alone time to catch up on some shut eye?
Whether you have an early night, a nice, long sleep in or take a quick power nap, perform the ultimate act of self care and prioritise your sleep.
If you decide to take a nap, try not sleep for any longer than 20 minutes if you can help it. Any longer than this and you may upset your sleep cycle which will make it harder for you to get to sleep when bed time rolls around.
Get Out Of The House
Spending time alone doesn't necessarily have to happen indoors. You can absolutely use your alone time to spend time away from your home if this is something that you want to do.
Maybe you had plans with a friend to go to a movie or a show or a dinner, who had to cancel last minute? As scary as it can be, why not go anyway? There's no need for you to miss out on a fun activity just because you're on your own.
While doing things alone may seem a little scary at first, you will quickly realise that most people are too busy living their own lives and worrying about themselves to notice (or care about) what you're doing anyway.
We automatically assume that anyone who sees us out on our own is going to judge us and label us a loser because we are alone and therefore must have no friends, but this simply is not the case.
The majority of people couldn't care less and those that do notice will more than likely give you props for having the guts to brave it alone.
Or, by putting yourself out there, you never know, you may be noticed by someone who invites you to come and join them and you could just make yourself a fun new friend - or even a group of them!
Dressing well, styling your hair and doing your make-up (if that applies to you) can help you to feel more confident if going out alone feels weird to you.
If you do decide to venture out alone, do make sure to take safety seriously. Pay attention to your surroundings and the people around you, keep an eye on your belongings and always keep an eye on your drinks.
Make sure that your phone is fully charged and always let someone know where you are going, just in case.
Lastly, always trust your gut. If someone or something feels off, then chances are that it probably is. Better to be safe than sorry!
Go Shopping
Going shopping with friends can be fun, but going alone is a great way to take your time to look at anything and everything that you want to look at.
You can duck in and duck out as quickly as you like, or spend an hour browsing every single rack and item of clothing in your favourite store. You can look in all the shops that you want to look in and none of the stores that you don't.
Take your time and try things on. You can try on the whole store if you like and you don't have to worry about someone tapping their foot outside the changeroom waiting for you.
It can also give you the opportunity to determine your style without someone else in your ear making you second guess your judgement or influence your decisions.
Go To A Café
If you want to spend time on your own but you don't necessarily want to be alone, you can always spend some time at a café. Find yourself a table, order yourself a yummy drink and get comfortable.
You can either sit and watch the world go by, read a book or a magazine, or use the time to catch up on your homework, text your friends, reply to your emails, do some writing or use your laptop to work on any other creative projects that may appeal to you.
Enjoy The Great Outdoors
There are many outdoor activities that you can do alone whether that's going for a walk or a bike ride, going to the beach, the lake or the river. You could go to your local park, you could go kayaking or you could even try solo camping.
Put your headphones in, take a book or magazine, pack some snacks and drinks, or even have yourself a cute little picnic under a shady tree. You may even be lucky enough to live near a botanical garden that you can take advantage of.
Take Yourself On A Mini Road Trip
Why not treat yourself to a day out and go for a nice, long drive somewhere? Pick a destination on the map, program your GPS, crank your favourite tunes and hit the open road.
It's up to you where you go and what you do while you're out. You can visit a tourist spot, go to a lookout, hit the beach, tour a local museum or art gallery, or wander through a market.
Book A Weekend Away
If you can afford it, you could even book yourself a weekend away somewhere. Depending on your budget, this could be hotel room, a cabin at a caravan park, a room at a fancy resort, or even a week-long cruise.
You could book yourself into a place that has a swimming pool, a hot tub, a sauna, a spa bath or all of the above. Go get a massage or a facial, order room service and watch movies in bed or take yourself on a date night to a fancy restaurant. Play games in an arcade, or participate in an adventure activity.
Being out of your element like this is a great way to push yourself out of your comfort zone, learn to be more independent, trust your own judgement and open yourself up to new life experiences.
You might even make some great new friends along the way and if you don't, at least you'll have some great stories to tell when you get home!
These are just some of the things that you can do to make your alone time a little more enjoyable. I could have gone more into depth on a lot of these points and even added many more, but I thought this article might be getting a little too long. ;)
If you have always been someone that enjoys your alone time, then I hope that this article gave you some inspiration and maybe some ideas that you hadn't already thought about.
If you are the type of person who has always hated the idea of spending time alone, I hope that this article may have helped you feel a little better about it, or has even convinced you to give it a try.
At the end of the day, spending some time alone can be really good for your health and wellbeing. It can help you learn more about who you are and/ or who you want to become, help you gain more independence and help you to relax, unwind and focus on self care.
In saying that, do make sure to spend time to socialising and interacting with others, too. Too much alone time is just as bad for you wellbeing as not enough.
How do you feel about spending time alone? Do you love it, or do you hate it?
Do you have any great ideas for solo activities that you didn't see mentioned in this article?
What kind of things do you like to do when spending time alone?
I'd love to hear from you!
Happy to have you here and I hope you have a great day/ night!
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Hope to have you back soon. Thanks for reading.
Lisa. 😊xx
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